Medicated again!

I stopped my meds for a week or so… Bad idea… I was having anxiety attacks and flipping out. Now my meds are back in my system and I am functioning again. I loathe the fact that my brain is fucked up… Why can’t I be normal on my own…

I’ve also been trying to make sure I don’t blow it with an awesome guy recently… He has been having some issues himself and we haven’t been talking as much.. Which really has been hurting my feelings… I don’t want to tell him that. I just love how I feel around him. He makes me smile and just forget all of my problems… *sighs* I know I’m gonna fuck this up…

The fact that I get looked down on because of my weight makes me wish that I could choose if you could see or not. I’m tired of being looked at in disgust because I am overweight. I am not trying to fuck you, get to know you, or have anything to do with you. So why do you have to get such a fucked up look on your face when you see me.
What if your face fucking bothers me? What if the goofy fucking way you function in life as a judgmental fucking prick makes me sick? Do I sit there and look at you like there is something wrong with you, no. So fuck you. If I’m not attractive to you, don’t let me cross your mind or your lips. Your ignorance is what is most unattractive.

Always look on the bright side of life

There are times when my mind clears. All of those voices are gagged and put to rest. I feel completely at peace. Those moments are extremely rare. The chances that I have something in my hand to capture the moment are always zero. But today, this moment, I feel amazing. It’s as if the stars aligned and the light shined down and I bathed in it’s glory.