The fact that I get looked down on because of my weight makes me wish that I could choose if you could see or not. I’m tired of being looked at in disgust because I am overweight. I am not trying to fuck you, get to know you, or have anything to do with you. So why do you have to get such a fucked up look on your face when you see me.
What if your face fucking bothers me? What if the goofy fucking way you function in life as a judgmental fucking prick makes me sick? Do I sit there and look at you like there is something wrong with you, no. So fuck you. If I’m not attractive to you, don’t let me cross your mind or your lips. Your ignorance is what is most unattractive.

Always look on the bright side of life

There are times when my mind clears. All of those voices are gagged and put to rest. I feel completely at peace. Those moments are extremely rare. The chances that I have something in my hand to capture the moment are always zero. But today, this moment, I feel amazing. It’s as if the stars aligned and the light shined down and I bathed in it’s glory.

Trust, or the lack there of…

I can’t even think at the moment, my head is clouded by horrible, betraying static. The most frustrating thing to me is that I have no control over it.
People always try to tell me, “oh, don’t think about it! Just put it out of your mind, things will get better!” What they don’t realize is that I can’t. No matter how hard I try, for that moment I am stuck. If it were as easy as not thinking about it, don’t you think that I would do just that? Yes, I can sometimes distract myself from the issue, but it’s always in the back of my mind. It sits there… Waiting…
Everyone always get upset at me because I have so many issues talking to others about my problems. I don’t trust anyone.. There is no reason for me to trust them. Yes, you need to give people a chance and get to know you… But every time I have they just take a piece of me and leave me there to rot and pick at the missing piece… I do opt for being unattached over interactions.

I hate you brain!

I loathe you! More than anything in this world, I absolutely hate my mind. I hate how wormy it is, how easily I am upset. For no good reason at all! I can’t even rationalize. I am just lost…
I am idealizing someone that I have no reason to. Just because I have sex with someone doesn’t mean that I have any attachment at all to them.. I don’t even cross their mind unless it’s in a sexual manner. Well fuck that! Fuck everyone. Fuck me too…